When Trying to Conceive Leaves You Feeling Disconnected from Your Body
Three gentle ways to begin reconnecting with yourself.
If you would prefer to watch or listen, visit my YouTube video where is share my thoughts around body disconnection and offer three ways to reconnect.
When you make the decision to try for a baby, you might imagine feeling more connected to your body than ever before.
But for many women, particularly when conception takes longer than hoped, the opposite can begin to happen.
Days can become filled with tracking ovulation, monitoring symptoms, researching fertility and wondering whether there's something more you should be doing.
And somewhere amongst all the hoping, waiting and searching for answers, you can begin to lose that connection with yourself.
Through my work supporting women with fertility and reproductive wellbeing, I've noticed how easily the relationship with our bodies can shift from one of connection to constant observation.
Rather than listening to how our bodies feel, we begin to hyper-focus on how the body is performing, or perhaps what we feel the body is failing to do.
Recognising When You've Become Disconnected
Disconnection looks different for every woman.
Perhaps you find yourself constantly symptom spotting, counting the days until your next pregnancy test or feeling that your life has become centred around trying to conceive.
You may begin withdrawing from friends or avoiding situations that feel emotionally difficult, particularly when others around you are announcing pregnancies or welcoming babies.
And sometimes, you might notice that things you once enjoyed no longer bring you the same happiness or peace.
I often ask the women that I work with:
"What brings you joy? What do you genuinely enjoy doing? What do you do that allows you to feel most like you?"
They often struggle to answer.
Not because joy has disappeared entirely, but because so much of their attention has become focused on trying to conceive. They are no longer experiencing their world, they are surviving each day.
Even self-care can become another task on the fertility checklist. I would say that it stops becoming self-care, more like tasks on a to do list that feel somewhat nice.
We exercise because we feel we should. We eat certain foods because we're told they're beneficial. We rest because we believe it might improve our chances, and the body is maybe still but do you experience restoration or is the mind still racing around. Is the "rest" including internet searching on your phone?
When was the last time you did something simply because it made you feel good? You felt uplifted and elevated during and after it?
Three Gentle Ways to Reconnect with Yourself
Reconnecting with your body doesn't have to involve complicated practices or another list of things to achieve.
Sometimes, it's about creating small moments where you can simply be yourself again.
1. Connect With Your Breath
Find a comfortable place to sit quietly.
Place one hand over your heart and the other over your womb space, if that feels comfortable for you.
Take a slow, gentle breath and notice how it feels as it enters your body.
Allow your shoulders to soften as you exhale.
Feel the warmth of your hands resting against you.
Rather than trying to change anything, simply become curious about how your body feels in this moment.
If stilling the mind feels challenging, focus on counting as you inhale and exhale, follow the breath around the body, guiding it to areas that you feel drawn to.
Even five minutes of intentional breathing can create a little space away from the constant thinking and analysing. Softening the physically body and releasing pockets of stress.
2. Rediscover What Brings You Joy
Give yourself permission to do something purely because you enjoy it.
Perhaps it's listening to music, drawing, dancing, spending time in nature or meeting a friend for coffee.
Not because it's good for fertility.
Not because you should.
But because it helps you feel like you again.
Because, for that time, you are present and connected, to the moment to your spirit, to what’s possible for you.
Your life doesn't have to remain on hold while you're waiting for conception.
You are allowed to experience happiness and pleasure alongside the uncertainty of your fertility journey.
Flowing in the energy of joy and pleasure doesn’t mean that you’re not committed to becoming a mum, or that you’re sabotaging the chances because you have allowed yourself to just "be" for that moment.
3. Move Your Body with Kindness
Movement can be a beautiful way to reconnect with yourself.
Whether that's yoga, walking, dancing, swimming or simply stretching, choose something that feels nourishing rather than something you feel you must do.
Notice how your body feels as you move.
Sometimes, when we are asked to notice how we feel, we instantly try to name a feeling word, encouraging the logic brain to identify and justify why this activity might or might not be beneficial for us. I’m suggesting that you notice your energy, your emotional rhythm, alongside the physical fluidity or rigidity within this activity.
Allow yourself to enjoy the movement without worrying about whether it's improving your fertility.
Give yourself permission to decide if this movement is the right movement for you, for your body, for your spirit.
Let it become a moment of connection rather than another expectation or instruction.
Finding Your Way Back to Yourself
When you're trying to conceive, it's understandable that so much of your attention becomes focused on the hope of becoming pregnant.
But your relationship with yourself matters too.
Learning to recognise what you need, what brings you joy and what helps you feel supported is valuable, regardless of where your fertility journey takes you.
You don't need to spend every moment trying to fix or improve yourself.
Sometimes, the most compassionate thing you can do is give yourself permission to soften, slow down and listen within. Listen to your body love language and guidance.
Because reconnecting with yourself isn't about doing more. It's about gently remembering who you are beyond the journey of trying to conceive.
And perhaps that begins with one quiet breath.
A Gentle Invitation
If you would like a little support in creating space for yourself, you're warmly invited to explore my complimentary LOTUS Method™ guided meditation.
A gentle opportunity to pause, soften and reconnect with yourself.
Or deepen your journey with The LOTUS™ Guide a five-day workbook combining reflection, journaling and embodiment practices.
You can download it at LOTUS | My Site
May your journey be held in love, softness and hope,
Bethan xx
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